Space Oddity, the first song ever to be recorded in space.

David Bowie’s Space Oddity was released in 1969. It’s been one of my two favorite Bowie songs for a long, long time, although I came by my appreciation for Bowie quite late. Two favorite Bowie songs – no, three. Four. China Girl and Life on Mars? I think. And Kooks. Four. The count goes on.

This is my life now, feeling like Sesame Street’s Count, putting it all back together.

Three! Three beautiful memories! Muaha-ha-ha-ha!

And more often than not they’re gone in the time it takes someone else to say something. Anything.

And I ramble on through the misty moor of my head, trying to re-collect … So delighted to be able to string assertions about myself together – quick! Write that down. Snap it up in a butterfly net – pin it down before …

Gone.

Mental breakdown (also known as a nervous breakdown) is a general term for an acute, time-limited psychiatric disorder that manifests primarily as severe stress-induced depression,anxiety, or dissociation in a previously functional individual, to the extent that they are no longer able to function on a day-to-day basis until the disorder is resolved. A nervous breakdown is defined by its temporary nature, and often closely tied to psychological burnout, severe overwork, sleep deprivation, and similar stressors, which may combine to temporarily overwhelm an individual with otherwise sound mental functions.

So says Wiki. My question is about time, if it’s time-limited. In an ideal world, someone under that intense internal pressure should be rescued. There’s your time-limited.

But what if – by some trick of fate – you find yourself in an unideal world? And the pressure keeps mounting and there’s no release? And the trauma keeps battering you and the crises line up like a tired family at Disneyland – hungry for the thrill of release. Can it go on for two years and still be considered a breakdown and not some more ingrained imperfection like bipolar disorder? Four years? What if it goes on, unabated, for four years?

Are you then doomed to spend the rest of your life shattered, wandering the streets with a basket and picking up detrius … that reminds you of the life you once had?

Sometimes I feel like that.